Raising Cain Discussion
There are discussion questions in the back of the book. I have simplified some of them here to help with our group discussion. It will be interesting to do some prior-knowledge sharing to compare what we have learned by the expertise of these two child psychologists.
1. Most of us who read this book are raising boys or have raised boys. We ALL encounter boys in our profession. BEFORE reading, jot down how the following affect how we view boys and the way they show emotion:
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firsthand experiences |
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television / movies |
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cultural stereotypes |
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Which of the above views were most challenged or changed by the book? Why?
2. If boys are born with full emotional “potential” what prevents them from reaching or expressing their emotions?
How does our culture form a barrier to a boy’s emotions?
Do boys today face the same challenges kids did in the past?
3. Why do the authors criticize the “nature vs nurture” conflict in emotional development?
4. Economic status and racial elements are not part of the authors’ theory about what challenges boys’ development.
What challenges do boys face that are not affected by these? mn
What challenges are made harder by these?
5. Thompson writes that impulses can be modified through “verbal expression”. Why do boys find it hard to express themselves?
What activities inhibit a boy’s ability to express himself?
Other than language, how do boys express themselves?
What are the shortcomings or benefits of each?
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ACTIVITY |
Shortcomings |
Benefits |
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6. What difficulties do boys face that mirror adults?
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Difficulties |
Boys |
Adults |
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7. Why does the author disapprove of harsh punishment…verbal or physical?
How do the effects of each form of punishment differ?
Are children punished differently according to gender?
Describe “constructive” discipline.
8. What promotes a
“culture of cruelty”? Why are boys drawn
to it more than girls? Does
9. Why does isolation prevail in more boys than girls? How can they move from isolation toward others?
How can you tell the difference between the harmful isolation and simple need for solitude?
10. The authors explain the abuse of drugs and alcohol can be blamed on emotional illiteracy and the desire to
What other problems can be attributed to “fractures” in a boy’s emotional life or his emotional life is silenced?
11. What significance does violence found in entertainments (movies/ TV/ songs/ sports/ video games / books) have on aggression and anger in young men?
What leads them into acting out? How does our society perpetuate the problem when it does not understand the underlying complex problems?
12. In what ways did reading this book change your view about traditional ways we view boys?
What myths were undone by this reading/ Any preserved?
13. There are seven suggestions the authors make for raising boys. Can you add three more?
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b.
c.
14. How will the information in this book affect your teaching?
15. How can you evaluate the effects?