A uthority: Two distinguished Dr. of Psychology

Michael Thompson : middle and high school teacher in both private and public systems, counselor, clinical psychologist in both South side of Chicago and Cambridge , MA

Brought up in the Upper E. NY, wealthy, elite private schools. Cultured life. Trouble throwing wet wads at passing vehicles. Driven, ambitious father…never played sports but shared love of cooking and puzzles with son. Mother very deep feeling (owes compassion to her)

Dan Kindlon : Professor and researcher Harvard Medical School studying child and adolescent behavior problems esp. violence

Grew up with two brothers, played sports (baseball), loved to read (WAR books) yet torn during Vietnam to be a conscientious objector.

Loved cooking with mom. Has two daughters and wants men they marry to be full emotional partners.

B ias

Thompson : Understand boys better and reveal how boys struggle with sadness and channel it into contempt for others and self hate.

Kindlon: Break masculine stereotypes. those who need to understand them the most don't.

Wants boys to learn to be honest with themselves, adults to see them as they truly are, not what they show. Want boys to be empathetic, expressive and accountable.

Published 12 days before the Columbine shootings...casts a spotlight on boy problems addressed in this book.

“Why didn't their parents know what was going on with those two guys?”

Counsel boys at exclusive boys' schools in Cambridge and saw how they are sad, anxious and angry-yet cannot express it. Kids eventually shut down or act out (drugs/sex/violence/alcohol)

“We want to help people who love boys—their parents, mentors, teachers—to see past the opaque surface of boys' lives to their inner lives…to understand the ways boys suffer and what causes them emotional pain. It is VITAL that we do NOT take them at face value even though they insist that we do so.

Expose “hidden” boy problems:

• adolescent culture of cruelty nonconformist boys are forced to tolerate
• suicide rate / depression
• drug/alcohol abuse steroid use
• underachievement
• car crashes (disproportionately boys)

C ontent / Currency

Thorough notes pp. 262 – 287 with citations.

Anecdotes from private practice

Acknowledgements to school settings (5 all boy schools and 4 coed)

c 1999, 2000.

D esign

Includes Preface / Introduction

Table of Contents

References and Reader's Guide